Café de Knoop be built by misfits and run on pure charm, it be. 'Tis the kind o’ place where ye stumble in fer a swig o’ rum and wind up on the stage, behind the bar, or locked in a fiery debate 'bout tax policy with a bass-playin' buccaneer from Belgium. Expect the unexpected, and always tip the pirates behind the bar servin’ ye rum till the stars give out!

Welcome, weary traveler. You look like someone in need of something shaken, stirred, and with just enough kick to keep you talking to strangers. At Café de Knoop, our cocktails aren’t just drinks: they’re liquid prophecies, delivered with a wink and a sprig of rosemary.

The bar staff? Picture if your therapist worked during the evening and had a whiskey sour that could heal a broken heart. They’ll welcome you like an old friend and remember your order long after you forget your dignity.

Just don’t ask what’s in the “house infusion.” We tried to write it down, but the ink vanished.

Welcome to Café de Knoop - where the mere presence of mainstream mediocrity is kept at bay and true artistry reigns supreme. We don’t just dabble in one genre like some dilettante’s Spotify playlist; no, we curate a sophisticated mosaic of performances worthy of your discerning ear. Live music is our centerpiece, naturally, because let’s face it, anything less is just background noise.

Prefer to spectate? Excellent. Recline in our meticulously arranged seating and enjoy the sonic tapestry while you sip a single-origin caffè americano or a bespoke cocktail with a sprig of something you can’t pronounce.

So, will you dazzle us with your artistic prowess, or simply attend to boost your cultural capital? Either way, welcome to the rarefied air of Café de Knoop, where true connoisseurs gather.

Knoop is where comedians come to test, bomb, kill, cry, or maybe all of the above. It’s a space where funny people get weirder, and weird people get surprisingly funny. You might discover the next big thing, or at least witness a bold choice involving a rubber chicken.

Potential Names:

• World Record Holder in Gay

• Sir Gay-a-Lot

• The Official Spokesgay of Yaaaaas Queen

• Supreme Chancellor of Yassification

• Full-Time Gay, No Days Off

• The Final Boss of Gay

[in progress] - idea is to bring Southern Hospitality vibe while also making fun of Amsterdam. Can incorporate “everything that’s not the randstad”

At Café de Knoop, we treat nightlife like an open relationship — we don’t believe in artistic monogamy. Live music is our steady partner, comedy is our weeknight crush, trivia checks in monthly for a little quality time, and we make bar snacks our (consensual) bitch. Maybe we’re just sluts — we love a good fling, so expect plenty of one-off events with varying degrees of….intensity.

Want to perform here? You wanna be apart of this creative polycule? You dirty dog. You disgust us, and we love it! The big question is: can you perform in public? Can you keep it up? Fill in the form here. 

You just like to watch? That’s okay! The world could really use more cowards. Buy tickets here to meet other pussies just like you <3 We bet you won’t.

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